Reflections - Valentines 2010

Last year we had our maternity photos taken on Valentines Day. It was a great experience and I am so happy to have had these photos taken. Although we didn't know we were having boys at the time, it looks like the shirt predicted correctly.

What to do while getting a flat tire fixed

This is what the boys think of spending 3.5 hours at the car dealership getting a flat tire fixed. What a snooze.

My Poor Neglected Blog...A catch up post

I am always thinking of things I'd like to write about in my blog, things I want to reflect on and remember about my experiences raising my boys. However it seems time is escaping me and my journal/blog isn't at the top of my 'to-do' list.

As I read some of my mommy friends blogs and all the insightful and reflective things they have to say, I am a bit jealous of their 'gift of gab' and ability to write so eloquently about their lives, the products they use, their creative crafting and baking skills, and ability to plan stellar birthday parties for their little ones.

So as a catch up...here is the last week and a half in review...

It was a stressful week. Greg started to feel really sick and sore on Monday, he had the chills and just felt horrible. Originally we thought it was the flu, but things got worse and on Tuesday he noticed some unusual swelling. On Wednesday our family doctor sent Greg to emergency, where he ended up having a CT Scan and emergency surgery to remove a abscess. I am just thankful it wasn't something more serious, as when he found a lump as all sorts of things start running through my head. We went through thinking he had the flu, to all of a sudden being sent for a CT scan. Since last Wednesday it has been recovery mode. We have had a home health care nurse come to our house daily to provide wound care, and Greg was on IV antibiotics for 4 days in addition to being in a lot of pain and being knocked out from painkillers. Gray who has recently developed an obsessions with following power cords, was very curious about the IV tube, and poor Greg had his IV pulled at a few times...OUCH! The good news is that he is on the mend, back at work, and after a few more nurses visits and weeks of antibiotics all should be back to normal.

The boys are mobile! They officially started crawling just over 2 weeks ago, and now they are climbing and pulling up on everything, removing anything and everything from coffee tables, pushing chairs around, and they have open and closed cupboards so many times that the knobs have loosened. Bumps and bruises have become the norm in our household, and the fireplace surround has become the most desireable place to climb. Bedtime and naptime have become an even greater adventure as the little monkeys climb the rails of their cribs, practice their gymnastics, jump up and down, and anything else they happen to figure out. I am just thankful they haven't figured out how to undress themselves yet, otherwise I would be scared to see how they would look when I got them up from bed in the morning.

Daycare tours. Finding and choosing childcare for the boys is an adventure. There are so many options out there. Each has its pros and cons and it is so hard to choose what the best option is for our family - live-out nanny, home based daycare or a daycare centre. Several weeks into touring daycares and a multitude of discussions with friends, I don't feel I am any closer to making a decision than I was when I first started looking. I am heading back to work in 5 weeks, so the decision needs to be made soon. At least I have options and am able to decide, but sometimes that makes things even harder.

Playdates. I am so greatful for my mommy friends and their little ones. With everything going on, we still managed to have several great get togethers with our mom & baby friends. I am really going to miss these get togethers when I head back to work next month, and hopefully I can still attend a few since I am not going back full time. I love watching them interact with their peers, yet always knowing who their brother is. Its nice that whenever they are together, they can always find a familiar face in the room.

Party Planning. The Big 1st Birthday is coming up quick. I can't believe it. The guest list has been written and I just need to lock down the location as there are way too many people for our little house. Part of me wonders if it should just be a small family dinner, but part of me says, you only get one 1st Birthday, even if you don't remember it. At the end of the day, as long as their birthday is celebrated and they feel loved...it will be perfect!

Heading Back to Work. Last week I had two 'information interviews' for a project based role at the company I work for. They are in the process of restructuring the HR department so my job as it was prior to me leaving, won't be the job I go back to. I will know at the end of February what my new role will be. My entire career thus far has been in field HR working directly with the employee population on day-to-day staffing issues and performance management, but it looks like I will be going into an HR Strategy/Operations type role which will be a big change.

Well...the "ba ba ba" I can hear over the baby monitor is letting me know that naptime is over...better get up there before they boys start swinging off their mobiles!

The Business of Sleep

No matter where I am, no matter who I talk to, or what I am reading, there is always a discussion on sleep and/or sleeping through the night. Perfect strangers will ask me in the grocery store whether my kids sleep through the night, and I can't count the number of status updates I read on facebook pertaining to my friends children's sleeping habits.

A week or so ago there was an email thread going with a group of my fellow twin mommies discussing sleep. I really appreciate the dialogue and getting everyone's thoughts on the best sleep strategies. Within our little group, some have great sleepers, others have bad sleepers, others are somewhere between, and everyone has had at least some sleep issues since their children were born.

The exhausted parent is a BIG BUSINESS opportunity. Millions of dollars are made off of desperate parents looking 8 hours of consecutive sleep. Just do a quick google search, and you will find loads of literature you can buy, or people you can hire to consult with you on your child's sleep habits. These sleep consultants even claim that they have never met a child who they could not get to sleep through the night, providing parents were committed to the process. I am often surprised that the TV Show The Dragons Den has not featured a person selling some sort of device for getting kids to sleep.

I have come to the realization that not every baby/child is going to sleep through the night or have a 3 hour nap every afternoon allowing their mom to prepare a fabulous gourmet meal, but that doesn't make one a good parent or bad parent if their child happens to one of the children who keep food on the tables of sleep consultants, doulas and authors. If I was the only person who had a child who didn't sleep through the night, my local Chapters wouldn't have an entire section dedicated to Sleep Training, and there wouldn't be information sessions at the local baby store geared to sleep deprived parents willing to pull out the credit card for the 'hope' that their baby will give them a good nights sleep.

Here is a little excerpt from my contribution to the sleep strategy email thread.

My guys are far from STTN and I have accepted it. We have tried this and that with limited and temporary success. I was loosing sleep over lack of sleep. I was crying over it, doubting my abilities as a mother and feeling really down.


What helped me put things in perspective is that every stage is temporary. Yes I am tired, but my kids are happy, they smile at me in the morning and are healthy. What more can I really ask for? Eventually they will be ready to STTN, crawl, walk, feed themselves, use the toilet, change themselves, read, drive a car, move out etc...and I'll be wondering where by babies went.


This is a phase. I would rather be up all night comforting my boys as 10 month olds than being up all night wondering where my 16 year olds went with the car.

Every stage will test my patience in different ways...I just need to remember that eventually it will pass.

I will state it here in writing "I will not make any more 'donations' to the sleep business". My boys will sleep through the night and take 3 hour naps when they are ready.

Toys, Toys & More Toys!

The boys loved all the toys at their friend Zoe's birthday party in Toronto. I am thinking that a great 1st birthday gift might be a slide and ball pit...and maybe a bigger house!

Bundled Up!

Climbing and Standing

Our world has gotten a lot bigger now that we can crawl and climb up on things!

Bottoms Up!

Its time for yoga with Little W!

Washing Machines Really Do Eat Socks!

Ever since I was a kid and my socks went missing, I was sure the washing machine was eating them. Well the verdict is in, washing machines really do eat socks! Today the service person came to fix our washing machine, and low and behold, one of the boys socks was trapped in the pump! $185.00 later...we have a working washing machine again. And hopefully the $4.00 laundry bag can prevent future incidents!

New Carseats!

Here we are in our new carseats. One step closer to toddlerhood!

Missing socks and broken washing machines...will there be a connection?

For the last 10 months we have been doing about 10 loads of laundry a week, sometimes more. Last week our washing machine stopped working, just before starting the spin cycle. We rung out the clothes, drained it and tried to find the issue. On the surface we couldn't see any problems, and we booked a service appointment. As the laundry accumulated and accumulated over the next few days, I decided that maybe it fixed itself, and gave it another try, only to have it start smoking.

After talking to a few friends at our weekly twin playdate, my guess is that we are going to find a little baby sock wrapped in one of the mechanisms, as we are missing a sock or two and I wouldn't be surprised if one got caught in there. I suppose I should have been using a laundry bag, but it never occurred to me, especially given we have been in the clear for 10 months.

I am not sure what the future has in store for our washing machine, or if a baby sock is the cause of the problem. Given that 2 of the families at the playdate had the same issue with their washing machine, my guess is that a sock is likely source of the problem. We will find out on Tuesday when the service person comes to check things out. In the interim, I have already purchased a laundry bag and have started filling it with socks.

The Convenience Factor

Things take a long time with kids in tow, especially kids who would rather roll across the room, sit up, stand or practice their crawling while I am trying to get them changed. Now that changing one diaper is taking 15 minutes, I am remembering back to this summer, when diapers were easy to change and I was able to take the boys out in only one layer of clothing instead of 3 or 4. Things were so much faster and so much easier.

With winter here, getting out of the house is an hour long endeavour, and once we are out, I always hope that we come home with the same number of hats and shoes that we left with.

I currently have the boys infant carseats and snap & go stroller listed on Craigslist. The Snap & Go has made my life so much easier over the last 10 months, that I'll be sad to see it go as the boys graduate to their convertible carseats. I loved the bucket seats too, perfect for restaurants and amazing for naps and travelling. But it is time for a new adventure, and I am sure the boys will love moving into their new roomy seats, as they already prefer the big stroller and the shopping cart, so they won't be crying over the change. But for me on the otherhand, I will miss the convenience of not having to unbuckle them from their carseats when running errands, and being able to load them into the carseats while inside, rather than loading them into their carseats outside in the cold.

Last week while on one of our weekly mall walks, we went to a mall north of us that I had never been to before. They had plenty of covered parking and they even had a Metro grocery store with an inside entrance. Not only that, the shopping carts all had two working seat belts. Once the carseat move happens, I could see the extra 15 minute drive being worthwhile this winter. What a mom won't do for a little convenience and the ability to keep her kids out of the cold, while still getting the household errands done.

Playing Hookie with Daddy!

Since Greg had the day off work, we went to the movies for the first time as a family. Appropriately we saw an action movie based on a comic book The Green Hornet - the ideal movie for the boys to see as their first movie with their dad.

The boys have been to the movie 5 times in their 10 months of life - The Back Up Plan, Despicable Me, The Social Network, Tangled and now The Green Hornet. Based on our movie going experience, I currently predict that Will is going to be our movie buff. He got mad at me if I blocked his view, and wanted to stay in his carseat to relax and enjoy the show without distractions. The only thing he let me do was feed him, and even then, he had his eyes on the show. Gray on the other hand was bouncing, looking around, staring at the potlights, standing on our laps. It is amazing how different these two little boys are sometimes.

10 Months Old!

I can't believe how fast time is flying. Today is Gray & Will's 10 month birthday. Unfotunately they both celebrated their monthly birthday with some major congestion and runny noses.

Dancing German Penguins?

The boys LOVE the iPad and LOVE watching YouTube videos. It is the perfect cure all to their fussiness and an easy distraction. There must be something about the iPad as they have zero interest in television unless it's a sport like golf, football, baseball or soccer.

Here are the current favourites. Who knew that Dancing German Penguins, Singing Hippos and Ducks could be so enthralling?

Penguins
Singing Hippo
Duck Story

Milestones...

As I watch Gray & Will's peers grow up, I am amazed at how different each one is in their development. Some are crawling across the room and pulling to a stand at 5 months, and others are immobile at 12 months, but have a vocabulary of 25 words - all in context. After hovering on all fours and slithering backwards for the last 6 -7 weeks, we finally have forward progression! I wouldn't exactly call it crawling yet, but it is purposeful forward movement which will likely develop into crawling over the next week or so.

I remember back in early December thinking they were going to crawl and any moment...and then I waited...and waited...and waited. I watched them get so frustrated as they did face plants on the floor...I blamed myself for letting them play in the exersaucer, jumperroo or jolly jumper rather then pushing them to crawl, and faulted myself for taking them out for walks rather than pushing them to have more tummy time.

Sometimes I think that Gray and Will chose to take their time in learning to crawl as they wanted to cut their mommy some slack, before they start running me off my toes. :)

At the end of the day, whether a child learns to crawl at 5 months, 12 months or skips crawling all together, as long as they are learning and growing, it doesn't really matter whether they are a few weeks or months behind or ahead of their peers. Milestones are milestones...and each child is on their own journey to reach those milestones. My job as a parent - to support them on the journey and give them the encouragement they need to succeed and the freedom they need to explore.

I'm a Big Boy Now!

Gray's favourite thing to do is stand. If he could stand all day, I think he would. He needs help to stand, or at least something to hold on to, but he is getting pretty good. Here he is...looking very proud!

Wordless Wednesdays

Serenity Prayer

Getting the boys to sleep through the night has been a challenge. When one wakes up, normally the other does too, and if by chance one sleeps through the night (which rarely happens), the odds are that the other one was up at least once or twice. I try not to complain, but nine months of only having broken sleep can be exhausting. Fortunately the wake ups are short, they don't get up to play, they get up to eat, have a cuddle and then go back to sleep.

We have done various forms of sleep training, but nothing has really stuck. We have success for a few days, and then end up right where we began. Letting them "Cry It Out" is painful, and when the results are only temporary, it makes it hard to continue with it.

The other night around 3 a.m. after having fed the boys, the first few lines of the Serenity Prayer came to my mind.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

My parents had this prayer on the wall at our house growing up. As I went through the line in my head, I thought to myself, this should be an anthem for parents, regardless of their childs age.

So...I have accepted that a full nights sleep is not in my future. I will continue sleep training efforts when appropriate and do what it takes to make sure my kids are well rested and happy when they wake in the morning. In 15 or 16 years when the boys are out with friends until the wee hours of the morning, I will be longing for the days when I sat holding them in my arms at 2:30 in the morning.

Jealousy

Having twins is a balancing act. Each of the boys has a distinct personality and different needs. Gray likes to be cuddled while I am standing and rest his head on my shoulder and Will likes to cuddle in my arms while I am sitting and play with my face.

Although they are not crawling yet, they are getting adventurous with their backwards crawling and attempts at standing which results in quite a few face plants and bumps on the head. Currently there is a disconnect between their confidence in their ability to do things, and their actual ability to do the things they would like to do, so there are plenty of spills and tears.

Lately I have seen the boys get jealous of each other. I knew it had to happen at some point, but I just hoped it would have been later. The hardest thing is that they are not jealous of things like toys which I could easily buy two of, they are jealous when one s being held and the other is not. Gray has mastered the quivering pouty lower lip and Will hangs his head on the floor and whimpers. It breaks my heart when I can't comfort both of them.

As their spirit of adventure continues to develop, I am sure they are going to need more comforting, and this is just the beginning of the jealousy I will likely see as they grow up. Now I just need to develop some tricks to give both boys the attention they need...or at least a distraction...

"Look Mom...I Got Him...maybe he won't steal my soother anymore"

Rub-a-Dub-Dub Two Boys in a Tub!

These little Pisces sure enjoy bathtime! In a matter of seconds we can take two cranky & crying boys and turn them into very happy campers ful of laughs and giggles.

First Snow

Friday Night Ramblings...

Ever since getting pregnant, I have been getting daily emails from a variety of sources on infant development. Some of them are very relevant, others are completely irrelevant, some make me feel like a horrible parent & others make me feel like a superstar parent. I don't know what it is like to be a parent without the internet - often I wish I did, but in such a connected world, 'Dr. Google' is always going to be my best friend and worst enemy when it comes to raising my kids. Today's email was on using puppets to develop imagination and encourage pretend play. Since Gray & Will had recieved a few puppets as gifts for Christmas (thanks Amy & Evan), I pulled one out and used it for some entertainment over breakfast this morning. The boys were very responsive to "Milk the Mealtime Moose", so perhaps he may show up again sometime.

Here are the boys and "Milk the Mealtime Moose"

The Moments I Live For....

As a parent we often stress about out children's sleep. Are they napping enough? Why are they not sleeping through the night? Why won't they sleep in their cribs? etc... When Will woke up still exhausted after only having napped for 15 minutes, rather than stressing over getting him back to sleep in his crib, I decided that a shower and chores could wait. I scooped him up, and less than a minute later he was sound asleep in my arms. I am cherishing this moment...and thanking Gray for napping in his crib and giving me some cuddle time with Will. This has been a great use of my 'me' time.

Twins & Malls

Ever since Gray and Will were a few weeks old, we have been mall walkers. They both love strolling around the mall, looking around and smiling at strangers. On an average mall outing we will be approached by at least half a dozen people who tell me how cute the boys are and ask me a variety of questions such as "are they twins?", "are they identical?", "double trouble", "you have your hands full", "two boys? Too bad you didn't have a boy and a girl", "how old are they?, "do twins run in your family" etc... I don't really mind people coming up to chat as sometimes I need the adult interaction, but I find it odd that people seem so fascinated by twins, especially when twins are not really that rare.

One of the oddest things is the number of people who "congratulate" me on the boys arrival. I really thought this would have ended months ago, but even with my babbling wide-eyed 9 month olds, I am still congratulated at least once or twice a week, even when I am with singleton babies who are several months younger - including newborns.

Although I normally dress the boys in similar or complimentary outfits, yesterday I took the boys out in outfits that did not match. You would think that would be acceptable, but I had 3 people ask me why my twins were not dressed as twins. Including one woman who said that I should always dress them the same when I take them out. Who would have thought that a stranger knows what is best for my kids?







Look...we are not dressed the same...and we are surviving!







I think this video sums up the multiples experience quite well. Sometimes I really do feel like a freak of nature.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT-lgB_HGEE

Dinner Time!

These kids love their food! Current favourites - cream cheese, hummus, flax bread, mandarin oranges, mangos, peaches, strawberries & sweet potato puffs.